Who's Driving This Thing?

I have sat in more board meetings than I can count (as an Executive Director, as a consultant, and as a Board Chair) and one of the most common sources of tension I have witnessed has nothing to do with money, personnel, or strategy. It has everything to do with a much simpler, and much more uncomfortable question: Who is actually in charge here?

It sounds like it should have an obvious answer. It does not.

Early in my career, I watched a well-meaning board member pull a staff person aside after a meeting and assign them a project - completely bypassing the Executive Director. I watched an Executive Director make a major hiring decision without ever looping in the board. I watched a Board Chair show up to a program site unannounced to "check on things." In every case, the people involved genuinely cared about the organization. They were not malicious. They were confused. And confusion, left unaddressed, quietly erodes the trust that makes a nonprofit function.

So let me try to make this as clear as I possibly can.

The board asks "What?" The Executive Director asks "How?"

Governance, the work of the board, is the strategic task of determining what the organization does, what it should become, and what boundaries it operates within. Management, the work of the Executive Director and staff, is figuring out how to get there. How to implement. How to operate. How to execute every policy the board has approved.

Think of it like a road trip. The board decides the destination, sets the budget for gas, and agrees on the rules of the road. The Executive Director gets behind the wheel. Both are essential. But only one person can drive at a time, and everyone needs to know who that is.

This distinction sounds simple. In practice, it is anything but. And here is why: most board members are recruited because of their professional management experience. They are CEOs, lawyers, financial officers, community leaders. They are exceptionally good at the "how." As a former Executive Director, I have struggled personally with this too. Asking them and challenging myself to shift into a governance mindset - to zoom out, ask strategic questions, and not manage - can feel deeply unnatural. It is like asking a chef to come to dinner as a guest and just enjoy the meal. Their instinct is to get back in the kitchen.

So where does the confusion most often show up?

It shows up when a board member contacts staff directly with requests or assignments, bypassing the Executive Director entirely. It shows up when a board votes on operational details that should never have come to the full board in the first place. It shows up when an Executive Director withholds information from the board because they are afraid of being micromanaged — and the board, sensing something is off, starts micromanaging anyway. It shows up in the silence between two people who both care deeply about the mission but have stopped trusting each other.

This is not a personality problem. It is a clarity problem.

The good news is that clarity is achievable. It starts with written role descriptions, not just for the Executive Director, but for the Board Chair and individual board members as well. It continues with a board calendar that makes expectations visible throughout the year, so no one is left wondering what they are supposed to be doing in any given month. And it requires ongoing, honest conversation between the Board Chair and the Executive Director - a critical relationship I will dig into more deeply in a future post.

Is there ever a time when the lines should blur?

Yes. When an organization is in crisis; a sudden leadership departure, a major audit finding, a significant compliance issue. The board may need to become more hands-on temporarily. This is appropriate, as long as everyone agrees it is temporary. The board leans in, stabilizes, and then intentionally leans back out as the organization regains its footing. The key word is intentional. Drift is the enemy.

For my fellow faith travelers, I keep coming back to the body of Christ as a metaphor here. In 1 Corinthians 12, Paul writes about different parts of the body, each with its own distinct function, each indispensable, none able to say to another "I don't need you." A hand cannot do the work of an eye. A board cannot do the work of a staff, and staff cannot do the work of a board. Different roles. Same mission. One body.

When everyone knows their role and plays it well, something remarkable happens. The tension lifts. The trust builds. And the mission moves forward in a way that no single person (board member, Executive Director, or otherwise) could have made happen alone.

Who's driving this thing? You both are. Just from different seats.

Erin

PS. If your board and Executive Director are struggling to find clarity on roles and responsibilities, this is some of the most important work you can do together - and it doesn't have to be painful. Reach out and let's talk about what that could look like for your organization. My experience in both the Executive role and in the Chair role brings a unique perspective. 

You Signed Up for This

Many moons ago (over 15 to be exact) as a newly hired Executive Director, I struggled to understand why attendance at board meetings was dismal. Leading a faith-based organization, I assumed "let your yes be yes and your no be no" was an expectation. I mean, these were people of faith. People who cared about the mission. People who said yes when asked to serve. And yet… empty chairs. Unanswered emails. Excuses that trailed off into silence.

I was frustrated. And if I'm being honest, I was a little self-righteous about it too.

What I didn't understand then is that board service carries with it a legal and fiduciary responsibility , a duty that goes far beyond showing up and nodding along. When someone is invited to join a board, the ask often sounds like this: "We'd love to have you. You'd be great. It's just a few meetings a year." What is rarely communicated clearly is what that yes actually means.

So what did they actually sign up for?

The Standards for Excellence Institute, whose resources I have the privilege of both writing and working with as a Licensed Consultant, outlines three core fiduciary duties that every board member carries the moment they say yes:

The Duty of Care means showing up - mentally, not just physically. It means reading the financials before the meeting, asking good questions, and making decisions like a reasonably prudent person would. It means you cannot be a passive passenger on this board. Care is active.

The Duty of Loyalty means that when you walk into that boardroom, you leave your personal interests, your business relationships, and your ego at the door. Every decision you make must be in the best interest of the organization and the community it serves - not you, not your company, not your cousin's catering business.

The Duty of Obedience means remaining faithful to the mission. You were not recruited to redesign the organization in your own image. You were recruited to steward what already exists - to protect its purpose and ensure that every dollar and decision moves toward that mission.

Care. Loyalty. Obedience. Three words that, when I look back at my early days as an Executive Director, I wish someone had handed me on a card to give every new board member at orientation.  Don’t worry, I added those as I learned.

In Matthew 5:37, Jesus says simply, "Let your yes be yes." It is one of the most quietly demanding verses in Scripture. No elaborate vow. No performance. Just the integrity of a person whose word means something. When a board member says yes to service, that yes carries weight; legally, ethically, and spiritually. It is a commitment to show up, to act with loyalty, and to remain faithful to something larger than themselves. Board service, at its best, is a form of keeping your oath.

As I grew professionally as an Executive Director, and what I understand now is this: dismal attendance is rarely about laziness or bad character. More often, it is about confusion. Board members don't show up when they don't know why their presence matters. They disengage when no one has ever clearly told them what is expected or what is at stake.

Is this easy to fix? No. Is it worth fixing? Absolutely.

The first step is clarity. Before someone says yes to board service, they deserve to know - really know - what that yes means. A job description with roles and responsibilities. An orientation. An annual renewed commitment. A conversation about the three duties above. And, as I wrote about in a previous post, a shared set of values the board creates together that makes the culture of service something people want to opt into.

When I think back to my early days as an Executive Director and those empty chairs, I don't feel self-righteous anymore. I feel a little sad for all of us; for the board members who never got the orientation they deserved, and for the new Executive Director (me!) and Board Governance Committee who never thought to give it to them.   By my second year, we had that rectified but still...As the Board Chair for World Relief, I get to participate in a Board Orientation training that I have crafted and revised over the years.  Our board attendance is stellar and our directors understand the role. 

Let your yes be yes. But first, make sure everyone knows what they're saying yes to.

Erin

PS. I have the privilege of serving as a Licensed Consultant for the Standards for Excellence Institute, whose framework on board fiduciary responsibility informs much of my consulting practice. I also wrote their Educational Resource packet on Board Fiduciary Responsibility. If your board could use a tune-up on roles, responsibilities, or culture - I'd love to have that conversation.  Over the last 7 years I have worked with 50+ organizations.  Is yours next?